Tuesday, January 25, 2005

My Virtual Model!

okay, so here is my virtual model.... :)

click here

Monday, January 24, 2005

this is your life

Lately I've been listening to a lot of Switchfoot. They are totally awesome and I love them. I'm finishing up my exams this week and I'll be on my last semester of high school. Wow. That's all I can say. :o

Partly because of the music, and partly because I have been realizing my own morality, I've made my new years resolution to appreciate my life more. I've learned that I need to make priorities and follow a routine. I'm learning to appreciate the moment. This is my life. I only have one to live. That's part of why losing weight and being healthy is so very important.. I don't want to waste a second.

Tonight I had a really great-tasting dinner, that was fairly healthy. Chicken breast with tex-mex seasoning, green beans and couscous, and yams with zuchinni. It was great. Thoroughly enjoyed.

I also got 35 minutes on the *cool* treadmill @ the gym. Yay.

Later I shall post my virtual model pics.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Weight Watchers?

I was surfing around and found this interesting tidbit about weighing in at Weight Watchers meetings.

"Advice for Weighing In at a Weight Watchers Meeting" By Thomas J. Hagens

"Advice for meeting weigh in’s: Before going to a meeting, do the following to remove some weight. Brush the plaque from your teeth, floss and gargle. Shave all hair off your body. Take a shower and wash any heavy crud off your body. DO NOT put on makeup, perfume, hair accessories (bobbi pins, hair clips, scrunchies, etc.), jewelry (including piercings), or deodorant. These items will add weight.
Make sure you wear the lightest possible clothes you can legally wear in public in your area. (Check for dress code in your area). Make sure you have the thinnest socks and underwear possible. For guys this is easy since as long as the elastic band is in tact, its underwear.
When you get to the meeting, go to the bathroom. A bonus is to take a dump because turds weigh a lot. When it is your turn at scale, remove any clothing you can get away with removing. Remove any jewelry you may have forgot, dentures, toupee, artificial limbs (including glass eye), and any piercings you forgot. Note take off any piercings in bathroom you shouldn’t take off in public.
Finally, when you step on the scale, to remove any final excess weight, fart, burp, blow your nose and exhale. Also stand on toes on scale because this has been proven to make you think it will actually make you lighter. Have a happy weigh in. "

Hope that made you laugh. I thought it was hilarious! Partly because of the strange things people do practice in order to swing the scale.

I downloaded a Weight Watchers java calculator today.

I'm wary about joining the program because I don't really have the money for it. But it seems like I never have any money to spend on myself... I guess that deep down I am afraid it won't really work. That's not really an option anymore, though. I must lose weight. I've been promising myself for years that I would lose it - it's time to fulfill that promise before I'm old and wrinkled!

It sounds cliche (VERY cliche), but I want this New Year to be the starting point of a new journey to take care of myself, to change my life, and to start a new course for the future. It seems like everyone around me knows what they want to do with their lives - I'm on the brink of the rest of my life and I don't want to be left behind. This is it. Oh God, help me.

Friday, December 24, 2004

what do I deserve?

So it's Christmas Eve. I'm not happy. Last night I just asked God to forgive me of everything that I've done; my bad attitudes, my hard heart, my stubburn thoughts. Everyone submits to something. I choose to submit to Him.

I thought that I could make this blog and it could be a "weight loss journey". I have approximitely 100+ lbs to lose, and I think this would be a great place to document all the inspirational things I have found on the net, and make this in to my scrapbook of success. However, I've come to realize that I cannot separate this "quest for fitness" part of my life from everything else! I have to be me; and I am so much more then this. This is my journal, and I'm doing it for me. So I'm going to be painfully honest. My thoughts, feelings, emotions... hey, even what I do day-to-day. Whatever I wanna write, I'm gonna write. Most of the time that isn't butterflies and flowers.

What spurred me to make this blog were sites like www.stellamama.com and http://www.dreamingthought.com/beforeafter/. I found them by going to this site: http://www.healthcyclopedia.com/weight-loss/personal-pages.html which has loads and loads of these "personal weight loss stories". It's sites like these that make me realize that becoming healthy can be done - because that is ultimately what I want to do, be healthy! Not lose weight.

This has come after a long history (oh joy, here comes the background info). Both my parents are/were overweight. My dad, whom I take after most, is about 6'7 and probably about 400 lbs. I've been overweight since I was about 6 or 7 (which coincidentally was about the time my parents got divorced). I joined Weight Watchers at 10ish. I wanted to lose weight for the longest time, but at that age I didn't possess the self-control, resources, or money to continue on the program. I joined another weight loss center at 11 or 12, which again did not pan out. My weight skyrocketed at 13. I think I gained about 40 lbs in one summer. Yadah yadah yadah, I went into highschool and became severely depressed, yadah yadah yadah, I dropped out of school, yadah yadah yadah, went back to school at 18, tried a bunch of other lifestyle changes which didn't work, yadah yadah, which brings me back to here. I haven't had the best life (not that any of us do), but I've always felt that the greatest hinderances to any type of program I've tried to start to improve my health have been 1., not having enough money to continue or 2., being completely sabotaged by my family.

Recently I went to the doctor and he told me I may be developing high blood pressure. This gave me somewhat of the wake-up call that I needed. I've always felt that losing weight just to look good was selfish. I think that deep down, I feel that I am not worth being healthy. That this is my lot in life, and I'm happy being the way that I am. I don't want to change. However, when I realized that the way I am living could drastically alter my life span, could put me on drugs for the rest of my life, could ultimately MAKE ME END UP LIKE MY PARENTS OR GRANDPARENTS, I began to get serious. My dad, whom I take after, has always been fit as a fiddle. On my mom's side, however, I've watched my family members waste away from high blood pressure, diabetes, hypothyroidism, and all types of lifestyle-related illnesses. That is not what I want for myself or my family!

So that is what has brought me here. It has all left me wondering, what is it I deserve? Why do I think I don't deserve being healthy, beautiful, and strong? I wonder...

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Wow, what a way to start.

So I've just created this blog, and I'm so excited (yet somewhat fearful) about writing in it. Just coming up with a name has completely drained me. I've decided to call this blog, "start from scratch", since essentially that is what I want to do here. This is going to journal my desire to start from scratch, to take back this life of mine and really live it. Gosh, what have I gotten myself in to? This was probably a really bad idea, and heck - this is the kind of stuff I come up with at 12:31 AM. I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and wonder what in the name of goulash I was thinking. I'm sure. Eek.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

"and later on that morning..."

I love www.brainyquote.com

Just discovered it. Love at first sight.

I've decided I'm going to milk this blog thing for all it's worth. Maybe it won't be such a bad idea after all. This shall be my new scrapbook of motivation and expression. I love it!

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." -
David Brinkley

"Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiam." -
Winston Churchill